(This article was inspired by
an entry by
sarahb_86) I certainly believe in the spirit of giving. In fact, I'm characteristically preoccupied by it. I want more than anything to encourage empathetic humanism by setting an example and providing to those in need.
You'd think that I get all giddy every year once holiday toy drives roll around and donation stations are set up outside of every major grocery and retail outlet so that the underprivileged children of the world can wake up to presents under their trees left by Santa just like everybody else. But I don't.
I think that if you don't or you can't or you won't care about or think about or provide to the unfortunate and the destitute at
any time of the year (and not just when corporate consumerism tells you to) then you shouldn't be in charge of telling the recipients of human kindness where their donations came from!
I don't at all like the idea of propagating a culture of expectation from the mysterious beyond. I think it's destructive to teach children that gifts will appear because a magical figure living in frigid isolation is capable of providing for all the world's children regardless of the fact that their parents are in the worst financial crunches of their lifetimes.
By recycling these myths for the sake of cuteness and tradition and offering a 'normal' childhood to their offspring, parents all over the country are eating their own words now that they can't back their shit up.
It's a terrible idea to let misguided but well-meaning donors continue to mislead these children into thinking there's always going to be a holiday safety net when there won't always be. It teaches dependence.
Whenever there is a holiday safety net providing for you though, I can tell you who's
not responsible for it...
Human beings care about human beings, Santa Claus does not. I understand that children will grow up and eventually understand that Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Great Pumpkin are just fairy tales, but they'll have fond emotional memories of these cancerous fairy tales, and they'll pass them on to all of the children in their lives.
Teach children where their livelihood comes from... from other human beings who are concerned about them and care about them enough to reach out to them with provisions (be they parents or church organizers or complete strangers). Let's stop treating children like it will take them a lifetime to understand the ways of the world. If we treat them like they're capable of understanding, then they'll understand much more rapidly and much more fully. And they'll feel grateful for it. They'll feel respected and provided for and
loved. I think that's a hell of a lot better way for our children to feel versus
expectant and
entitled.
I don't have a problem with holiday decorations and music and food and parties and togetherness and the things that originally made the winter holidays of any given culture so great. I'm not against the holiday spirit at all! But let's
please take the fairy tales out of it and build stronger communities by giving credit where it's due:
to each other.
Please recommend this entry by clicking on the heart just below!
Comments (29)
The longer I live in this world, the more I kinda agree with this.
I also think that kids should be exposed to stories that have sad endings instead of reading them nothing but books that end in "Happily ever after."
It does nothing but set them up for a big disappointment later in life.
Let kids be kids... but don't bullshit them.
This was a good post!
I have to admit I grew up with the Santa Clause tale. Not necessarily because my parents preached it to me, but because I was young and impressionable and believed what I saw on those too darn entertaining Christmas shows. :D
Now that I am older I believe that the Santa story is a bit far-fetched. I often have a hard time keeping it up for my nephews because I do feel like I am lying to them. I do it because I think I would feel worse telling them otherwise and then having to answer the inevitable questions that follow.
I think that if you are in a situation where you must have presents donated in order to have a Christmas, than there is no shame in telling your kids. I believe that it will do nothing but help children learn to be grateful for what they have and to eventually return the favor.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!
I've thought about this, and even though I say I don't want kids or anything and I don't really have these thoughts that often but.... If I *did* have kids, I just *KNOW* mine would be the ones to tell the whole kindergarten class that Santa isn't real and that their families are just blind sheep ready to jump when the man tells them. Can you imagine how many ridiculous phone calls from other parents that parent might get?
I DON'T understand why or how the santa thing became a big deal. I mean, was it like this in the 1800's? I never ask or say anything to my cousins about Santa, I feel like it's soooooooooooooo wrong!
@open_exit - I will adopt children just so that my kids will be those kids. They'll also get sent home from school all the time for explaining to the class that curse words are just words and they'll only cause damage if you decide to react to them.
@Alex_Horschack - hahahaha again, I share your opinion... the world is not ready for people like us to procreate/adopt
Honestly, I kind of agree. Ever since I was little, my grandma used to tell me, "You know, I talk to you like an adult. I tell you the facts and I don't circle around what you should know." And, I'm glad that she did that. I matured faster and I became more able to comprehend things at a younger age. I knew there was no Santa Claus by the time I was 5 and I realized that I shouldn't expect to have a present of some sort under the tree every year. I always knew to thank my parents when I received a gift, not some mythical creature.
@nbdyzangel - And now look at you! You've made the lacrosse team at your school, you've been excepted to a prestigious university, and you've got TRUE status on Xanga to top it all off!
Good post! As for your response in which you say, "curse words are just words and they'll only cause damage if you decide to react to them," it's how I try to keep things in my classroom. Unfortunately, I am an intern right now and my mentor doesn't feel this way.
@History_Nut - One day WE will shape the truths of our world. =D
I agree. I really don't see the need for the Santa lie. I mean if you want to tell them cute stories of Santa that's fine but why tell them that this is a real living guy?
Yeah im not going to lie to my kids about Santa Clause because, its just dumb.
Sugar coating things is what America is best at.
Reality hits!
being caught in the dilemma of trying not to spent too much but still want to get some nice gifts for friends and family, i didnt do much charity this holiday. perhaps i'll be nice by opening doors for the elderly and etc..
@goodbyedinner - That's exactly the kind of feeling I don't want my friends to feel pinched into!
You shouldn't have to feel the compulsory need to perform properly for your friends and family by buying them the right gifts...
I know that as individuals, many of us (your friends and family included) more than likely would tell one another that we don't mind going giftless or even that we don't want anyone to do anything for us... but everyone still continues to feel pressured into holiday consumerism anyway!
Just don't stress yourself out too badly when you're out shopping, ok?
I think Santa Claus is a healthy tradition. It gives smiles and delight. I fully intend to give gifts from Santa. Just for fun. =D
it's interesting you bring this up... because just the other day, i was wrapping donated presents to give to my students and i asked my boss, "where do these come from?" she had no idea. some of them come from christmas trees set in department stores on "donation days." she also thought that maybe our corporate side of the company shops and donates gifts. but in reality, we don't know. some of my residential kids never experienced christmas before they came to us. some of my community kids don't have thanksgiving or christmas, except for at school with us. in the instance of not knowing where their gifts come from, it's definitely like the real story of st. nicholas who brought gifts of gold and fruit to less fortunate families. and i couldn't be more thankful... because seeing the students' faces light up during our holidays... i can see them as the children they never go to be and know they are truly happy in that moment. it's a blessing.
As a Christian, I obviously believe the focus of this time of year has gotten quite askew. I have no problem if people want to pretend and believe in Santa Claus, as long as they remember the reason behind having Christmas in the first place. We're celebrating Jesus Christ, and whether you believe him to be God incarnate as I do or not, he promoted feeding the poor, clothing the naked, and providing for the needy. If we're concerned about giving Christmas presents before taking care of their primary needs then we've completely missed the point.
I agree with teaching children about the world (within reason), but I don't necessarily think we need to do away with Santa Claus. Santa Claus in his current materialistic incarnation? Maybe. But Santa Claus as a metaphor for generosity and compassion? Why get rid of that?
Children of three or four won't necessarily understand the harsh realities of the world (and why should we force them to know about that stuff at that age?). They will understand about Santa Claus, though. I think the trick is to teach about Santa Claus in a way so that the child's beliefs can transition from literal gift-giving man to metaphor.
i think this is over analyzing fairy tales and myths a bit much. i think it's safe to say that a whole lot of people grew up with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc, and turned out into loving and caring people who know they have people who love and care for them. kids don't just learn that they have ppl who love them from Santa Claus who shows up once a year. they learn it from their caring parents and relatives who are there every day, all year. i think what's beautiful about fairy tales is that it gives the kids a chance to experience a magic that you don't get to experience when you're older because you know it's not true. as long as the kids eventually learn that Santa Claus and the big bunny that hides the eggs cause no harm.
@Create_Passion - I believe that it's true that the most insightful and intelligent children will realize who loves them no matter what. I believe that amongst the dimmer children though, Santa myths and the like are much more likely to confuse and cause hurt feelings.
That same first group of brighter kids could probably look back a Santa-less child hood and realize that they went without for the greater good since many other children wouldn't have been as capable of abstract thought the way they were. When dealing with those who can't process abstract ideas, fairy tales and fables repeatedly cause them to miss the point.
that's certainly true. but could it also be argued that those same fairy tales and fables can help them to develop the skill to process abstract ideas? i guess what it boils down to is the parents and them making sure that they teach the children that it is just a bit of magic to enhance childhood.
so i'm curious because you did say Santa Claus and Easter bunny, but then I kind of turned that into fairy tales and fables. So what do you think about the actual fairy tales and fables like Snow White, or Hansel and Gretel and Aesop's fables?
i'm sorry i keep going back and forth, but i really do enjoy an intellectual discussion.
hope you're enjoying New York City and all it's awesomeness! =)
Fables and Fantasy are typically regarded as literary art forms. Personally I believe that science is an art and art is a science.
Something similar could be said of the idea of magic. Magic is just science that people don't understand yet. The 'laws' of magic yielded alchemy, which of course was the precursor to modern chemistry.
Because of these attitudes, my children will have more than enough non-fiction to enhance their childhood.
In fact, I will certainly teach them about the utilities of fictitious fable and fantasy, but only after they understand the principals of 'reality' independent of those stories.
I believe that those said utilities of fiction and fable were originally developed to spread ideas and messages to less thoughtful people in a package that's easier to understand. So I will teach them good values first, and then the way to take advantage of those art forms in order to exert a positive influence on the people around them who may not take the time to think as thoughtfully and as carefully as they hopefully will know how to in the first place. This is how you raise little leaders. : D
The messages contained there in fables typically resound of the principals of operant conditioning... for example: "If you don't listen to your parents then something plainly tangible and inarguably bad will happen to you, like if your father tells you not to fly to high with your wax wings but you do and so the wax melts and you fall and die."
These are scare tactics. There are just as many fables containing messages of positive reinforcement of course, but my children will be respected and treated as though they're just as capable of understanding the ways of the world as I was at their age when all of my adult influences tried to teach me using fables in a way that eventually lead me to question their merit as caretakers in the first place.
As far as more modern forms of fiction, those kinds of works can be much more elaborate and brilliantly subtle, but ultimately serve to examplify various messages and/ or atittudes to the readership/ viewership in the same way that earlier forms of fable do.
@Create_Passion - I took the comment I made in response to your last one and expanded it into my most recent entry. I hope you enjoy it...
@LittleDrummerBoy4Christ - Christian or not, and celebraters of Jesus's birthday or not, we can agree that this holiday season shopping culture has lead us down the wrong path...