I refuse to ever have biological children of my own. There are far too many children in the world who aren't being taken care of. Despite the way others describe how they just truly feel driven to produce their own offspring, I feel they are letting their hormones get the best of them and twisting their heads into subconsciously thinking that their genes are somehow special and that it's of the utmost importance to preserve them.
Granted, I only understand the maler end of the sex-continuum when it comes to reproductive feelings. I am fully prepared to concede that I will never, never understand a woman's natural urge to produce and care for her own children. I won't attempt to claim that I know the other side of it, but I urge both hopeful fathers
and mothers-to-be to hear me out nevertheless, and to measure your own feelings and opinions against only yourself to decide if you truly 'need' or even want to reproduce some day, regardless of your gut intuition.
I know I could catch a great huge ton of flack from lots of parents who have already committed to the choice of having biological children of their own for saying this... but it seems incredibly selfish and self-important to me to for anyone to actually
plan out a pregnancy with the current state of the world's youngest demographic the way that it is.
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly no fan of unplanned pregnancies! But those who don't think things through are more than satisfying our birthrates in great excess. There's always the argument that dumb ass-hats who literally fuck too much for their own good aren't prime candidates for people-making as far as genes go, but that's not valid since
the biggest contributor to unplanned pregnancies (and STD infection to boot) is a lack of comprehensive sex education. This next part's important so I'm going to quintuple-highlight it; let's see if you can make the connection between the last sentence and the next...
The most significant cause of high abortion rates is a lack of a comprehensive sex education.While we continue to work on achieving higher levels of awareness regarding the comprehensive sex-education curriculum, I'm a firm believer that the rest of us can provide the most effective parenting strategies and loving environments that will shape our next generations' experiences and attitudes despite what their natural parents might have had in store for them.
Let's
please use our giant homosapien brains to overcome our instinctual urges so that we can take care of the human beings our neighbors have already invited into this troubled world!
Let's fight unplanned pregnancies (and STD infection) by supplying comprehensive sex-education to the masses (abstinence+ is the most superior form). Let's fight world starvation and famine and undereducation and human trafficing and on and on by adopting the children that already exist or who are already coming into the world for sure. And let's stop treating people who have made mistakes without ever first having a proper education as though they're somehow inherently worse than the rest of us or incapable of intelligent thought once they're supplied with equal access to information!
I personally hope to adopt as many children as is within my means over the course of my lifetime..
My first adopted child will be a daughter who I will name "Anjou."
So what do you guys think about all of this?
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Comments (354)
thank you for writing this.
This is an awesome post. I want a child of my own more than anything else in the world. And yeah, it probably has a lot to do with my maternal instincts.
But I applaud you for wanting to adopt. I think that is one of the most selfless acts a person can do. I wish more young men and women would think about the consequences before having unprotected sex. I also get really upset when people who cannot afford to take care of children reproduce over and over and over again. Then the rest of society has to pay their bills.
Great post!
@antisoccermom - I didn't know that you'd have a great reaction to this one but I posted it anyway!
Anjou and I appreciate your time and attention!
There's people who want their own babies and there's people out there like you who will adopt. And that's fine. I got my own baby.
Let me know how hard the adoption process is. I want a baby from china. =) I think they're cute.
Nicely put. I've had my mind set on adoption since I was 14. I was very into human rights issues at the time, and seeing so many starving orphans made me realize that having a biological child is just a selfish urge to have a miniature version of myself, when I could provide a home to a child who already exists and needs me.
And I'm sure one day, when I travel to pick up my child, I'll look in their eyes and know that it was worth it.
While I agree that parents need to know especially the FINANCIAL burden of birthing/raising a child of their own, this still applies to adoption. With having your own child, you get to spread the funds over many, many years. With adoption, you have to front all of that money in the beginning, not to mention the rest you'll spend over the years. It's not practical, as much as it's needed.
I'm in agreement with this country's lack of sufficient sex education. It makes me very happy to know you plan on adopting. I like the name you picked out, very original. However, as a woman, I have a huge desire to have a child of my own. That isn't to say I'm going to have a whole clan of kids, it just means I want one that is my own. The passing of genes I suppose. But I'm also contemplating adoption. I would love to give children who don't have a home or family a loving place to call their own. Thank you for writing this post.
I love this. I really really do.
I'm a big advocate of comprehensive sex education myself. If people knew what to do to keep themselves from unwanted pregnancies, then there would be less children in this world who are longing for loving parents.
Yes, I do want one maybe two biological children of my own, but I would also like to adopt.
I agree with everything you've said here. I do not understand the desire to have children. Maybe it's because I already basically raised my brother and sister, but, I still have no interest in forcing a baby out of me just to feed my ego. I really don't see how it can be thought of as cute to have a mini-me wandering the halls of my (as of yet non-purchased) home. I do not understand how logical, thinking cosmopolitans can make the conscious decision to have offspring with the worlds population growing as it is. It really is irresponsible and selfish.
@Darn_it_danube - BWHUT!?!?!?
Maybe people shouldn't be raising any kids at all if they have to pay for their expenses the way low-income individuals pay the rent on their apartments from month to month without knowing if what they'll do when some costly catastrophe takes place.
If we agree that someone must be financially responsible and able regardless of whether you raise your own child or someone else's, I don't see why having your own biological children is more 'practical.' Since we're making this a money thing, don't forget all of the additional costs associated with a pregnancy alone.
@Fairywife - Yeah I hear you! We just need more of the people who want their own babies not to want that anymore! XD
It really is such a delicate topic to navigate when there are countless women who will say over and over things like:
'That's nice, I acknowledge your concern and understand all of your points perfectly well. They all make absolute sense, and most of what you say is spot-on. I'm just going to go ahead and have 2 of my own children anyway though, because I think that'd be nice!'
It's hard to tell women who want desperately to have their own children that their desires are weighing down on society with so much caress that they don't immediately hate you and want to gut you in public... It's weird because they're contributing to the problems I identified, yet they're not responsible for them, yet they alone have the power to reverse a negative trend!
The reminds me a question that Richard Dawkins honestly, and somewhat uncomfortably, answered in and interview once.
That said I hope you don't mind if I give your position no regard at all from a personal standpoint. But for you, live who you want to live
@Alex_Horschack - Women just naturally want their own babies. I'm not sure why, I guess it's just..well..natural. I know I wanted a baby so badly. Then I got her. I have no problem adopting though. I'm not sure about going through an angency or anything, but I have no problem taking babies/children in while a mommy gets back up on her feet or something, ya know? That's completely different than adopting, I guess. But you get it. Haha.
@Alex_Horschack - That's what I'm saying. Those who plan pregnancies usually make sure they're financially stable enough to raise a kid and send it to college. Only stupid people don't look at every aspect. Those selfish bastards who think, "Five kids will be great on a $20,000 income!" I agree with you mainly; I'm just saying that adoption is not much of a better idea than having your own kid, unless you're rich enough to afford the lawyers, court dates, and all the extra hooplah that comes along with it.
Nicely put.
I have 3 children. I never actually wanted my own kids. My plan was to adopt. Then I got pregnant unexpectantly. After having one, I wanted another. My youngest was a vasectomy baby. We still may adopt in the future.
What is the shame is that parents leave any sex education up to schools. There really need to be open and honest communication in the home. Parents need to realize that parenting can sometimes be uncomfortable, I mean who really wants to talk about sex with their child? But part of being a parent is to give your children tools to make smart decisions in life.
I actually plan to be a foster parent and/or adopt when I'm older. I have no desire to actually give birth to children, but I do have maternal instincts that if I don't have a kid and/or a pet to exercise them on, they overflow into my "adult" relationships.
I totally agree with you though; it strikes me as selfish to be holier-than-thou about having your own kids and being against adopting... Having kids is NOT about you, EVER, it's about the well-being of the children! It makes sense to have those natural desires to want to have your own kids, I suppose, but to satisfy your possibly fleeting desire by creating a life that will have to be more important than your own for at least eighteen years seems a little silly, doesn't it?
People need to go into parenthood wanting to be parents, not wanting to have kids.
Wow. I don't know how you stumbled across me, but I must say, I'm glad you did. Very good read...great logic, and phenomenal point of view. Peace.
I shall NEVER have children.
Agreed, agreed, agreed, agreed...
Although, I'm sure that some people really want to reproduce and have their own children for unselfish reasons. I'm sure(or at least I'm hoping) that at least some people who decide not to adopt have good reasons for doing so.
I know I don't want to have children, for personal reasons. But adoption is a wonderful choice. :)
Awesome post! You wrote this so nicely (:
People come from both ends of the spectrum. Those passionate about adopting and those passionate about creating their own children. It's hard to sway them when their so pro whatever they want.
I love this though !
on a similar topic, I get really aggrivated at so many pro-life parents at my mom's church. They keep having all of these kids and when the topic of abortion comes up, they believe people should give their kids up for adoption as an alternative. Why ever would someone do that when this large community of pro-life people fail to adopt children into their perfect little homes? It sickens me to no end!
I definitely plan on adopting, despite the uphill battle (it takes YEARS to adopt a child). I wonder if they'll even consider me if I'm not married.
a-freakin-men!
There SHOULD indeed be a more comprehensive sex-education curriculum available in schools...
While your idea is reasonable and understandable...most people cannot afford to adopt a child.
What I like the most about this post is that the ability to have a child wasn't included in the decision. Most people who adopt, do so because they are unable to have their own children.Â